Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and in working through the chapters and exercises, I was shocked to discover that my cake dreams might not be what I thought they were. Talk about a wake-up call.
What do I mean you ask? Well let me explain. From the time I was 13 years old, I’ve wanted to decorate cakes. I don’t know where that desire came from, but it was a big dream. I asked my Mama for a cake decorating set (similar to this Wilton one) for Christmas that year and she got it for me… and I never quit dreaming.
Fast forward to adulthood and when asked what my dream job would be a few years ago, I told someone that I wanted to own a bakery. Pretty much the same dream… 20+ years later.
Well… that was true at the time. But then my dream started happening. My brother asked me to do his wedding cake (above) and after refusing quite emphatically, he finally talked me into it. I had never done a tiered cake, or really any cake beyond the occasional birthday cake for one of my kids and even those weren’t all that great.
But after finally caving in to his request, I practiced over the next few months, volunteered even, to do cakes for people. Any cake – for anybody – just to practice. And then I shared pictures on Facebook.
And then… out of the blue… lots of people started ordering cakes and I had a cake business without even realizing it had happened. I was thrilled!
It grew rapidly and beyond my wildest dreams. I started blogging about cakes over at my original frugal website and when I noticed that it wasn’t growing very much, but my cake posts were popular, I decided to start RoseBakes.com and again… it grew very fast and it just blew me away.
Eventually my real-life cake business (as opposed to my online blog) got so busy that I had to take a big break because it was so overwhelming and my health was suffering and I was just plain tired – all.the.time (see the above pic – that’s one exhausted me). It grew to a place where I turn down more orders than I accepted and had to schedule weekends “off” months in advance just to have a free weekend to breath.
But my dream had (sort of) come true. Right?
Well maybe not.
In reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, one of the exercises was to take 30 minutes in a quiet place and really think about my life and write down 4-6 personal priorities. Things that I want to look back on at the end of my life and have accomplished.
Well… after pondering and thinking and writing them down, I was shocked when it hit me a couple of hours later that owning a bakery was not on the list. Nor was having a full-time (from home) cake business. It actually never crossed my mind as I brainstormed what was most important to me – what I wanted to accomplish. A booming cake business was not on the list. At all.
WHAT!?
It actually took me a couple of days of thinking about this to process what it meant. One of the things that is encouraged early on in the book is to say yes to the “best” things in life – even if that means saying no to “good” things. Doing cakes is a good thing. I’m really good at it (or so they tell me) and I actually love it. A lot.
But the fact is, it takes up a huge portion of my life and the sheer quantity of cakes I’m doing each weekend is not putting me any closer to any of the goals on my list. If anything, it’s making those goals harder to achieve because I’m so busy and/or tired all the time.
So I have to stop doing so much. Period. That makes me sad in a way. Saying “no” will be hard. I have faithful, wonderful, loyal customers who rely on me. I don’t want to disappoint them or let them down. I don’t want them (or anyone) to think I’m a failure because I can’t do it all anymore.
Does that mean I want to quit decorating cakes? No. Not at all. But I need to re-think my business so that I can pursue the things I’m really passionate about. My life is far from perfect (click here for proof!), but I can certainly make it better by making better choices.
And while owning a booming bakery is not on my list, one of the goals that did make the cut was to have a successful (income-earning) blog where I can share tutorials and recipes and help other cakers/bakers learn to do cakes. I am extremely passionate about that and have perfect peace about it – knowing God opened the door for me to do this (to blog) – to have this platform. So there’s that.
Looking back, hand-in-hand with my dream to own a bakery, was also a dream (that I share with my husband) to be self-employed… to be able to work for ourselves and earn enough income to support our family. That was also on my list. Initially I thought the cake business might be that thing … but now I’m not so sure.
You see, I’ve learned in just over 2 years of blogging at RoseBakes.com, that I really only need to write 3 or 4 times a week to have a successful blog. I’m already earning income over there (although it would need to multiply quite a bit to be close to enough to support our family), so I just need to work to keep growing it and posting the things my readers really want (need) to read.
And what do my readers love most? Tutorials and recipes. Sure I get a few comments on my straight-up cake posts, but the real traffic comes when I show them how to do what I do. And truly, I can do that by only actually doing one or two cakes a week… or less. But doing 3-5 cakes per weekend makes me so busy that I rarely have time to do step-by-step photos and write the really good posts.
That was my light-bulb moment. Realizing I could still do cake decorating … but instead of doing 3-5 orders per weekend and always being stressed and overwhelmed at making my deadlines, I could do only one or two cakes a weekend (or even only 3-4 a month), take my time and photograph as I go for tutorials… then share those and grow my blog while also still doing what I love (without the stress). Win-Win!
The added benefit (or truly the more important benefit) would be more time to focus on my husband, my kids, my home… three other things on my list of priorities. Things that are suffering because of my very busy cake business.
My whole reason for sharing this is to encourage you that you don’t have to keep living in “survival mode” (if you happen to be doing that, like I am). If you really take the time to evaluate your time, your priorities and goals, and your life, you can make changes that will make your life so much better.
Just think about what’s important to you and ask yourself… am I doing things that are taking me closer to my goals? If not, how can I change that? Two of my favorite questions/quotes from Say Goodbye to Survival Mode were these:
When I say yes to one thing, I must say no to something else. and
What are the consequences if I say yes to this?
For me, saying “yes” to just one cake means 2-4 hours I’m not enjoying a Friday night movie with my husband or to homeschooling my kids on Thursday or Friday afternoon. Saying “yes” means possibly saying no to cooking supper or folding laundry or reading my kids a story because “Mommy has to do cake”.
And when I say “yes” to two cakes or three cakes or sometimes four or five cakes per weekend… those are big consequences. Especially when I get myself into that situation week after week, month after month.
So, here’s my action plan. While I had already seriously cut my orders in half after my first big break, I’m planning to drastically reduce the number of cakes I say “yes” to again and spend more time focusing on what matters most to me – my family, my friends, my home, my blog.
To do that, I need to change my cake business. I’ve decided to be more purposeful in what I say yes to – making every cake and every post count. I’m going to really evaluate every opportunity… am I in love with the cake design (like this one above!)? Can I blog about it or glean a tutorial from it? How many hours do I need to block out of my day/week/weekend to accomplish this? Is it worth the time or what I’m saying “no” to?
I know that it’s going to be hard and I probably won’t get it right every time. But I also know that by the time I answer all of that, I won’t be doing nearly as many cakes, and I’m okay with that. I truly believe I’ll be much happier and healthier and I’ll still be chasing my dreams!
Do you feel like I do? Are you often or always living in survival mode? If so, maybe reading this book will help you too!
Now… it’s your turn to maybe have a light-bulb moment. Would you like to feel healthier and more energetic, eliminate stress, get more done, and rediscover what is most important to you and how to accomplish it? If so, I am confident in recommending Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.
In the book you’ll find 9 simple strategies to help you stress less, sleep more, and be inspired to live life on purpose and to pursue the things that mean the most to you! Order your copy today!
To celebrate the launch week of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, starting today and running through Sunday, every person who buys a copy of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode will get a free Daybrightener Flip Calendar from DaySpring — with free shipping, too! That’s a $10.99 value.
To get your FREE DaySpring Flip Calendar, just purchase a copy of the book from any retailer, and then fill out the form here —> http://bit.ly/KE2Qa4.
Thank you for this post! It is right on target!
Thank you Kathy – for everything! It was our conversation yesterday that really prompted me to write it down 🙂 Love you!
Oh my word, Rose. This is Excellent! You got my wheels turning for sure.
And that cake above? Love!
Thank you so much Amy!! xx
What a fantastic post! It is amazing sometimes what we can get when we take a little bit of time out of our crazy schedules to just evaluate and process. Seeing what you truly do want and how you can get it using your cake passion is a wonderful thing to take away from the book.
I absolutely loved Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and I can’t wait until my friend gets her copy so we can work through some of the exercises together!
Thank you Angela! I truly cannot tell you how shocked I was at the results of really thinking things through instead of just go-go-go!
What an inspiring post and your cakes are amazing. I love your blog design too!
Thank you and thank you! 🙂
Very thought provoking. However, I have to say you scared me just a bit. I was afraid you were going to tell us you were calling it quits! I’ve learned a great deal from you, including confidence in my own skills. I will absolutely support you in your decision and would also be one of the first ones to sign up if you decide to start charging for tutorials. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors!
I recently went through a similar situation & re-prioritizing, but I’m not quite where it’s all crystal clear, yet. I just received my book this week, though-can’t wait to get started!
Just curious: Have you considered training others locally & being able to pass off business to them or hire others & still make a cut of the cakes (ha ha)? (I love what the gal over at http://www.betterlifebags.com is doing for impoverished Detroit wonen!)
I have thought about it and think I would enjoy it, but I’m not ready to take on anything else right now – at least until I can find some balance in what I’m already doing.
What an uplifting and positive person you are to share your stores, thoughts, struggles, accomplishments as well as your recipes. I just love your post and I find you so uplifting to me in my life. What a blessing to know you through this post. I’m always so happy to see your e-mails in my mailbox for I know you bring the best post I have ever read as well as delicious recipes and tutorials.
An excellent reminder, thank you! My dream since middle school has been to teach/work with children. In many ways that’s been realized: taught kindergarten for 4 years, helped develop and run a sunday school program in an overseas church plant. Then….when our dream to have our kids in the national schools here crashed, homeschooling became our next best option. For several years I tried to do both- our kids at home and the kids in the sunday school. Crazy! Ultimately I had to say “no” to the church and make teaching kids, our own kids, my priority. It hasn’t been without its criticisms, but I know it’s the right thing for right now. God bless and again thanks for the encouraging words.
WOW! I have to say, I got my “Rose Bakes” email this morning and thought ~ I am just tooo tired and have WAY too much to do before I go to work at job #1 and then job #2, then off to the printers to pickup invites that I designed, and then home to make fondant snowmobiles for a cake order, then back to get the invites put together….. and on and on it goes (notice, no sleep in the schedule, lol). When I decided to click on your link and read. TRULY inspiring! I REALLY am going to have to check this book out and see if it can help….. something needs to! THANK YOU for being such an inspiration! LOVE your blog! Your work is phenomenal!
I came to this same realization not too long ago with my own cake biz. (Different goals). It was life changing. I never really told anyone, except a few close friends why I slowed down. Thank you for putting yourself out there and articulating exactly what I had been feeling. Your blog is great and I enjoy all the updates and tutorials. Best of luck!
I came over from Crystal Paine’s launch team to read your post, and I was encouraged and challenged by it. I will pray for you to find the perfect balance and that God will give you the desires of your heart!
I love this post. It’s so important to reevaluate what you really want. I always imagined me and my family in a huge house close to the city. Now we’re in a small house not nearly as close to the city as I planned, and I love it! Turns out I HATE housework so having a small house is perfect and I really like our half suburb/half small town area. Who would have thought??
Perhaps another way to add to your income might be to monthly hold a class for your local readers teaching them how to decorate cakes in person? Just a thought since sometimes people learn better with in person instruction.
Thank you for the lovely post and inspiring me to purchase a copy of the book! Does any one know if you can purchase a kindle edition of the book and still receive the free item? Thank you so much again!
Your cakes are amazing! As a cake baker myself, I completely understand the time cake decorating takes away from other important parts of your life. Over the summer, I drastically reduced the number of outside orders I accepted. It was hard at first, but I’m happy with my decision. Maybe when my young children are older I’ll consider doing more, but for now I’m enjoying my life with what’s really important to me and my family. Good luck to you, I’m sure your decision wasn’t an easy one.
Hi there. I loved your post. I wanted to encourage you. I have a family member who does cakes. I was counting on her to do my sons cake but she has prior commitments. So I am doing his cake & I’m excited about it. I’m sure some of your customers are the same. Just needing the nudge and a great tutorial
Such a wonderful post! I love following Crystal & now I may to buy the book now too. Oh, and I just discovered a cake blog that I need to start following! 😉
Thanks for this wonderful post. My husband and I have been re-evaluating goals and changing up things even before I started reading this book, but the book has really helped me as well in even just the first chapter or two. I appreciate the honesty and am working to not say “yes” to things that are good, but not the best for us. I recently decided to stop doing something that was causing a great deal of stress even though many thought I was good at it. This is a nice post to re-affirm that decision and encourage me to continue run the race God has set before me (not someone else’s).
I am very thankful for your thoughts. I have so many things on my plate right now and added more the last few months I ended up very over the last month. I already have health issues then I added more and I wore myself out. This is such a great example and great reminder that I can’t do it all and I can’t help anyone if I don’t figure out my road first. I am new to your blog but I love it already and can’t wait to see more! Thank you for opening up about your struggles and giving such great thoughts! May this path bring you joy! Thank you!
Thank you so much for this, I read it through twice (because my tears were making it rather blurry). It could very much be written about me down to the details! I really need to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. I’m so busy that even my poor blog can’t keep up! Thank you for the time you took to write this and publish it.
You’re very welcome Beth. I wish I could just give you a big hug and encourage you!
Great post. I have ordered the book and the more reviews I read the quicker I want it to arrive. I also just signed up to follow your blogs and I love the cake above!
Thank you so much!
This book has my name all over it!!!! Going to go and download it on my Kindle right now. I have that problem of saying yes to too much and then trying not to drown under the stress I have made for myself. Thank you so much for sharing!